Ian Kelly

Profile Updated: April 24, 2017
Ian Kelly
Current Occupation (if any) & Previous Occupations:
Computer Systems Consultant
Your Website Homepage address:
Name of Spouse/Partner:
Children's names and the year they were born:
Benjamin - born 1974, and probably the LOUDEST voice in the world.
Miranda - born 1980, and certainly More…the prettiest girl in the world.
Yes! Attending Reunion
School Years: Which years did your time at Sloane cover?


House: Which House were you in?


School Memories?

Mr. Wells was an inspired maths teacher, as was that complete gentleman "Tom" Wilson; Mr. Harris taught French - and was an FRCO, and played the piano for assembly nearly every morning. Guy Boas called his wife "Pussy" (I think) - and I *would* have played Brutus in his last Shakespeare production (Julius Caesar) ... but it was cancelled (mumble, complain). We had (heaven help us!) a complete, printed copy of the Greater Oxford Dictionary in the library - and I loved it! Mr. Stockwell (alas he is now the Late Mr. Stockwell) was a wonderful Physics teacher (and his son was at the school too), and he had sight in only one eye.

What has happened in your life since you left Sloane?

I am still in touch with A. C. Spooner (Tony), who is a year younger than me, and Ian Dale ("Jim") (who was my Best Man - and I was his), as well as David Brooks ("Gumbrush"). After A-levels I went to University College, London, to get a B.Sc. (Special) in Mathematics. I then went in to the computing industry, ending up as a computer systems consultant - and (boring, boring!) an expert in very large databases. And I mean *very* large.
I'm now supposed to be retired - but (you've guessed it!) I'm working on implementing the world's largest database - and writing another book.

Where did you live when you were at Sloane?

When I started at Sloane I lived in Kensington - just north of the High Street. But then I moved to Hampstead - Belsize Park, to be precise - and it took a long time by Northen Line/District Line or 31 bus to get there.

Which Primary school did you attend?

Malborough, Chelsea.

What is your full address?:

Bellows, 11A Burrow Hill Green
Surrey GU24 8QP

Home Phone Number:

01276 857 599

Mobile Phone Number:

07957 101 430

When and where were you married?

I was married in Caxton Hall on 30th March 1969, to the lady to whom I am still married. The best thing I ever did in my life. (*big grin*). She's the lady in my profile picture, if you want to see what she looks like.

...and now, after nearly forty-six years of marriage, we are grandparents - whoopee!!!


I love music: I play the piano and the church organ (every week!), and conduct choirs. I have also written (and published) a number of books - a children's novel, a set of short stories drawn from the religions of the world, two pantomime scripts and two much more serious books on Computational Linguistics (Machine Translation - getting computers to translate between human languages). I am currently writing another book on the subject of Interstellar Travel - and that's a harder one to write.
I intend, in my retirement, to learn to speak Classical Greek and Farsi (Persian). And, yes, I have a use for both of these languages.

Teams: Do you support any sports teams?

Sport? What's that????

TV/Films/Radio: What are your favourite films and programmes. Who are your favourite actors/actresses?

Gosh - I don't know! I think Meryl Streep is fantastic. I like Titanic, and Breakfast at Tiffanys, and Shrek, and The Third Man, and Star Wars, and Les Parapluis de Cherbourg, and Bergman's The Silence. I would love to see more ballet - both classical and modern. And Pinter, Noel Coward, George Bernard Shaw ... hey, this list could be long!... all excite me.

Books: Fiction or non-fiction? Favourite books/authors?

The Theory of Celestial Influence, Rodney Collin. The C Programming Language, Kernighan & Ritchie. All of Terry Pratchett's works - especially the later ones. Philip Pullman's writing is marvelous, as is everything by George Perec. The Art of Computer Programming, Donald Knuth. And - most important of all - The Bible... preferably in the old translation (KJV - "Authorised Version").

Humour: Who or what makes you laugh?

Lenny Henry. All the idiots in Red Dwarf. The tales of Mullah Nasrudin (and that's one of the reasons I am learning Farsi - Persian - so I can read these tales in the original).

Newspapers or Magazines: Which titles do you read regularly?

None... The Sunday Times and the Observer and the TLS ... but nothing regularly.

What are your pet hates?

I hate intolerance. I hate bureaucracy. I hate power-grabbing wastrels (i.e. nearly all politicians). I hate greed.

Music: What music would you like played at your funeral?

The final unfinished fugue from Bach's "Art of Fugue". I want this because it peters out, rather than finishes properly - Bach died before he had dictated it all. It is like a conversation in a room you are leaving, and can no longer hear because the door closes behind you - but the conversation still goes on, out of your hearing. Bach knew what the real end of that fugue would be - though we do not. In heaven I shall hear it completed. It is, for me, symbolic of death being not an ending, but a passing from one state to another.

Ian's Latest Interactions

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Ian Kelly posted a message. New comment added.
Apr 26, 2017 at 12:35 PM

Posted on: Apr 24, 2017 at 5:31 PM

For those of you that know/knew Ian Dale, he is very, very ill at the moment, and I fear he may not last even this month. I have been to see him and Irene - who celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary at the beginning of this month - to squeeze his hand and wish him goodbye.
I shall let you all know when he passes on.

It's Ian Kelly's birthday today.
Apr 22, 2017 at 9:33 AM
Ian Kelly added a comment on Profile.
Mar 08, 2017 at 5:39 PM
Ian Kelly added a comment on Profile.
May 12, 2016 at 9:32 PM
It's Ian Kelly's birthday today.
Apr 22, 2016 at 9:33 AM
Ian Kelly has left an In Memory comment for James Bryson McLachlan.
Feb 27, 2016 at 1:33 PM

I never had the privilege of being taught in class by "Jock" - I was a "science" rather than an "arts" boy - but one day I was about to pass him in the school hall. A little frightened I addressed him, and asked about two lines in The Waste Land (which - ah, those were the teenage years! - I had just read). He immediately translated them from the German, and told me what they were quoting, and then carried on down the hall, at his fast pace. I thanked him - and I was delighted that he had given me his time. Although it was only 30 seconds, they were a memory I treasure, and for which I shall always be grateful. 

A good man, and a good teacher.




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Jan 28, 2016 at 8:05 PM
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Jan 28, 2016 at 12:12 AM

Posted on: Jan 27, 2016 at 9:16 PM

Good grief! Who'd have thought it! I am - at last - a grandfather. I know that has nothing to do with the old school - but I thought I'd share my joy with you all. I wonder what Wilson, Harris, Bailey, Henry, Gorman, Stockwell, Middleditch, Wells, Hill, Knight and Lumsdain (with all the others) would think of our conversations here. eh?

Ian Kelly added a comment on Profile.
Jan 27, 2016 at 8:29 PM
Ian Kelly added a comment on Profile. New comment added.
Oct 06, 2015 at 7:54 PM

Posted on: Aug 24, 2015 at 8:37 PM

It's Ian Kelly's birthday today.
Apr 22, 2015 at 9:33 AM
Ian Kelly added a comment on Profile.
Apr 08, 2015 at 4:30 PM
Ian Kelly posted a message.
Jan 15, 2015 at 7:43 PM

Welcome, John, to the Sloane website - technology has certainly changed since you were at the school - though not always for the better. We all really look forward to hearing from you. Best wishes. Ian.