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Ian Kelly

Profile Updated: May 30, 2017
Ian Kelly
Current Occupation (if any) & Previous Occupations:
Computer Systems Consultant
Your Website Homepage address:
Name of Spouse/Partner:
Children's names and the year they were born:
Benjamin - born 1974, and probably the LOUDEST voice in the world.
Miranda - born 1980, and certainly More…the prettiest girl in the world.
...and a grandson, Sonny, born 2016.
Yes! Attending Reunion
School Years: Which years did your time at Sloane cover?


House: Which House were you in at Sloane?


School Memories?

Mr. Wells was an inspired maths teacher, as was that complete gentleman "Tom" Wilson; Mr. Harris taught French - and was an FRCO, and played the piano for assembly nearly every morning. Guy Boas called his wife "Pussy" (I think) - and I *would* have played Brutus in his last Shakespeare production (Julius Caesar) ... but it was cancelled (mumble, complain). We had (heaven help us!) a complete, printed copy of the Greater Oxford Dictionary in the library - and I loved it! Mr. Stockwell (alas he is now the Late Mr. Stockwell) was a wonderful Physics teacher (and his son was at the school too), and he had sight in only one eye.

What has happened in your life since you left Sloane?

I am still in touch with A. C. Spooner (Tony), who is a year younger than me, and Ian Dale ("Jim") (who was my Best Man - and I was his), as well as David Brooks ("Gumbrush"). After A-levels I went to University College, London, to get a B.Sc. (Special) in Mathematics. I then went in to the computing industry, ending up as a computer systems consultant - and (boring, boring!) an expert in very large databases. And I mean *very* large.
I'm now supposed to be retired - but (you've guessed it!) I'm working on implementing the world's largest database - and writing another book.

Where did you live when you were at Sloane?

When I started at Sloane I lived in Kensington - just north of the High Street. But then I moved to Hampstead - Belsize Park, to be precise - and it took a long time by Northen Line/District Line or 31 bus to get there.

Which Primary school did you attend?

Malborough, Chelsea.

What is your full address?:

Bellows, 11A Burrow Hill Green
Surrey GU24 8QP

Home Phone Number:

01276 857 599

Mobile Phone Number:

07957 101 430

When and where were you married?

I was married in Caxton Hall on 30th March 1969, to the lady to whom I am still married. The best thing I ever did in my life. (*big grin*). She's the lady in my profile picture, if you want to see what she looks like.

...and now, after nearly forty-six years of marriage, we are grandparents - whoopee!!!


I love music: I play the piano and the church organ (every week!), and conduct choirs. I have also written (and published) a number of books - a children's novel, a set of short stories drawn from the religions of the world, two pantomime scripts and two much more serious books on Computational Linguistics (Machine Translation - getting computers to translate between human languages). I am currently writing another book on the subject of Interstellar Travel - and that's a harder one to write. Worse than that, I am writing a paper on mathematical physics, to do with the structure of light (boring, boring!).
I intend, in my retirement, to learn to speak Classical Greek and Farsi (Persian). And, yes, I have a use for both of these languages.

Teams: Do you support any sports teams?

Sport? What's that????

TV/Films/Radio: What are your favourite films and programmes. Who are your favourite actors/actresses?

Gosh - I don't know! I think Meryl Streep is fantastic. I like Titanic, and Breakfast at Tiffanys, and Shrek, and The Third Man, and Star Wars, and Les Parapluis de Cherbourg, and Bergman's The Silence. I would love to see more ballet - both classical and modern. And Pinter, Noel Coward, George Bernard Shaw ... hey, this list could be long!... all excite me.

Books: Fiction or non-fiction? Favourite books/authors?

The Theory of Celestial Influence, Rodney Collin. The C Programming Language, Kernighan & Ritchie. All of Terry Pratchett's works - especially the later ones. Philip Pullman's writing is marvelous, as is everything by George Perec. The Art of Computer Programming, Donald Knuth. And - most important of all - The Bible... preferably in the old translation (KJV - "Authorised Version").

I read many myths and fairy stories - they could be thought of as the Science Fiction of the past, even though they point to the deeper parts of the world as it is, and how it can become.

Humour: Who or what makes you laugh?

Lenny Henry. All the idiots in Red Dwarf. The tales of Mullah Nasrudin (and that's one of the reasons I am learning Farsi - Persian - so I can read these tales in the original).

Newspapers or Magazines: Which titles do you read regularly?

None... The Sunday Times and the Observer and the TLS ... but nothing regularly.

What are your pet hates?

I hate intolerance. I hate bureaucracy. I hate power-grabbing wastrels (i.e. nearly all politicians). I hate greed.

Music: What music would you like played at your funeral? This should give everyone an idea of your musical taste and music/songs that mean a lot to you.

The final unfinished fugue from Bach's "Art of Fugue". I want this because it peters out, rather than finishes properly - Bach died before he had dictated it all. It is like a conversation in a room you are leaving, and can no longer hear because the door closes behind you - but the conversation still goes on, out of your hearing. Bach knew what the real end of that fugue would be - though we do not. In heaven I shall hear it completed. It is, for me, symbolic of death being not an ending, but a passing from one state to another.

Is there a poem or other piece of writing you'd particularly like read at your funeral?

This is the key of the kingdom
Of the kingdom this is the key.

In the kingdom there is a city
In the city there is a town
In the town there is a street
From the street there leads a lane
By the lane there is a yard
In the yard there is a house
In the house there is a room
In that room there is a bed

And on the bed lies a basket -
A basket of sweet flowers.

Flowers in the basket,
Basket on the bed,
Bed in the room,
Room in the empty house,
House in the draughty yard,
Yard by the winding lane,
Lane to the long road,
Road in the high town,
Town in the great city.

City in the kingdom.

This is the key of the kingdom,
Of the kingdom this is the key.

Ian's Latest Interactions

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Ian Kelly added a comment on Profile.
Feb 16, 2018 at 6:03 PM
Ian Kelly added a comment on Profile.
Nov 01, 2017 at 7:29 PM
Jun 30, 2017 at 9:05 PM
Ian Kelly has left an In Memory comment for Profile.
Jun 08, 2017 at 1:33 PM

Ian married Irene in 1967, not 1964: I remember the date well, because it was on that day I proposed to my girlfried - now my wife for over 48 years. It was because of the overwhelming love that Ian and Irene showed each other that I was blessed to have the courage to propose; and those who knew Ian and Irene later in life, will know that love and care for each other lasted a full half-century.

The world is poorer without you, Ian ("Jim")

...from your friend Ian ("Ned")


Ian Kelly updated profile. View.
May 30, 2017 at 10:41 PM
Ian Kelly posted a message.
May 30, 2017 at 10:23 PM

It is with great sorrow that I record Ian's passing. He was my dear, dear friend. He was a loyal and loving husband - I was his Best Man, and he mine - and I spoke at his Golden Wedding celebrations just a month ago. He was a father, grandfather, loved family member - and friend. He loved people, and people loved him. He was, in the very best sense of the word, a gentleman.
Rest In Peace, Ian.

Ian Kelly posted a message. New comment added.
Jun 05, 2017 at 7:40 PM

Posted on: May 30, 2017 at 10:18 PM

It is with great sorrow that I report the death of Ian Dale, my dear friend of many years. 1945-2017. He was a loving husband: I was his Best Man - and he mine - and I spoke at his Golden Wedding celebration just a month ago. He was a father, grandfather, brother, loved member of his family - and a loyal friend. He loved people, and people loved him. He was, in the very best sense of the word, a gentleman.
Rest In Peace, Ian.

Ian Kelly posted a message. New comment added.
Apr 26, 2017 at 12:35 PM

Posted on: Apr 24, 2017 at 5:31 PM

For those of you that know/knew Ian Dale, he is very, very ill at the moment, and I fear he may not last even this month. I have been to see him and Irene - who celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary at the beginning of this month - to squeeze his hand and wish him goodbye.
I shall let you all know when he passes on.

It's Ian Kelly's birthday today.
Apr 22, 2017 at 9:33 AM
Ian Kelly added a comment on Profile.
Mar 08, 2017 at 5:39 PM
Ian Kelly added a comment on Profile.
May 12, 2016 at 9:32 PM
It's Ian Kelly's birthday today.
Apr 22, 2016 at 9:33 AM
Ian Kelly has left an In Memory comment for James Bryson McLachlan.
Feb 27, 2016 at 1:33 PM

I never had the privilege of being taught in class by "Jock" - I was a "science" rather than an "arts" boy - but one day I was about to pass him in the school hall. A little frightened I addressed him, and asked about two lines in The Waste Land (which - ah, those were the teenage years! - I had just read). He immediately translated them from the German, and told me what they were quoting, and then carried on down the hall, at his fast pace. I thanked him - and I was delighted that he had given me his time. Although it was only 30 seconds, they were a memory I treasure, and for which I shall always be grateful. 

A good man, and a good teacher.




Ian Kelly posted a message. New comment added.
Jan 28, 2016 at 12:12 AM

Posted on: Jan 27, 2016 at 9:16 PM

Good grief! Who'd have thought it! I am - at last - a grandfather. I know that has nothing to do with the old school - but I thought I'd share my joy with you all. I wonder what Wilson, Harris, Bailey, Henry, Gorman, Stockwell, Middleditch, Wells, Hill, Knight and Lumsdain (with all the others) would think of our conversations here. eh?

Ian Kelly added a comment on Profile.
Jan 27, 2016 at 8:29 PM
Ian Kelly added a comment on Profile. New comment added.
Oct 06, 2015 at 7:54 PM

Posted on: Aug 24, 2015 at 8:37 PM

It's Ian Kelly's birthday today.
Apr 22, 2015 at 9:33 AM
Ian Kelly added a comment on Profile.
Apr 08, 2015 at 4:30 PM
Ian Kelly posted a message.
Jan 15, 2015 at 7:43 PM

Welcome, John, to the Sloane website - technology has certainly changed since you were at the school - though not always for the better. We all really look forward to hearing from you. Best wishes. Ian.